Threads of Gender

Month

January 2013

84 posts

150th Anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation

image

Booker T. Washington’s first hand account of its impact:

As the great day drew nearer, there was more singing in the slave quarters than usual. It was bolder, had more ring, and lasted later into the night. Most of the verses of the plantation songs had some reference to freedom…. Some man who seemed to be a stranger (a United States officer, I presume) made a little speech and then read a rather long paper—the Emancipation Proclamation, I think. After the reading we were told that we were all free, and could go when and where we pleased. My mother, who was standing by my side, leaned over and kissed her children, while tears of joy ran down her cheeks. She explained to us what it all meant, that this was the day for which she had been so long praying, but fearing that she would never live to see.


May there be freedom from tyranny forever and more of it each passing year.

Dec 31, 2012
2013!

A whole year of not getting divorced! Hurray!

Dec 31, 2012 1 note

December 2012

86 posts

The Pinocchio Surgery

image

When you tell people you’re transgender, the very first thought that pops into their head without fail is whether or not you’ve had SRS (Sexual Reassignment Surgery) yet. I use the term SRS because sex is about genitals and gender is about the brain. We transition gender and modify our sex to match our gender, but I know everyone has their preferential term.

So, what is so entrancing and defining about SRS that makes it the de facto question on most Cis people’s tongues when they learn about your gender variance?

Well first, let’s just get it in writing. SRS is NOT necessary to be a happy, healthy trans woman or man. There are loads of non-operative women and even more non-op men out there. Surgery is expensive and not without potential complications. In America, most people do not have coverage for the surgery in their insurance plans. I actually do, but I’ll get to that later.

So why is it that after 60 years of transgender visibility in America and the Western world, do we as a country and civilization have such a fixation on surgery. Well, part of it is the fact that 99% of biological men have penises and 99% of genetic women have vaginas. There are exceptions from the intersex and chromosomally aberrant communities, but these are only acknowledged by us more aware people in the various variant communities. So it’s easy to equate SRS with transition, I suppose.

But I think it’s also dangerous for the young trans people among us to focus on surgery as the point of transition from gender to gender. I’ve seen it on Reddit posts, where people think they “might not be trans” because they don’t want surgery. We need to dispel this post haste.

I call this The Pinocchio Surgery, because Pinocchio wasn’t a “real boy” until the fairy came and granted his wish to be a real boy with the stroke of her magic wand. This seems to be the average person’s conception of transition from male to female or vice versa. I was talking to a trans female friend of mine about this, and I said “I wish there was a magic wand that could finish the transition in a moment! Sign me up!”

So, I have coverage for SRS or GRS or whatever you want to call it from my work’s insurance. My employer is very progressive and have taken the brain dead obvious choice of covering surgery and hormones for trans employees. I just can’t understand why this is not more widespread. I work for a company of thousands, and there have been about 6 of us that have transitioned on the job. I think I was 4th lol.

Let’s change the narrative here folks. Surgery is an afterthought for the majority of trans people. It is medically necessary for those who deeply detest their equipment and need the surgery to feel whole, but this is not all of us. We need a more inclusive and tolerant understanding of trans issues in this country.

Dec 30, 2012 7 notes
#trans #mtf #transgender #srs
A Year's Worth of Ashes

image

I have a bad habit of leaving the ashes of the incense where it fell. You’ll also notice I use a ring box for my incense holder. Nothing better than finding use out of old broken relationships, right? So this has to be like 8 months of ashes here.

One of those lines of ashes happened when I finally stopped caring about people looking at me. That’s one of those tipping point things, where everything just sort of comes into alignment, and you’re free. I don’t think I even realized that I was over caring until a little while later. Anyway…

One of those lines of ashes happened when I had my first birthday as a female, as Abbie. I got lots of great feminine presents from my wonderful family, although it seems like an eternity ago. Time stretches out when its contents are so turbulent.

One of those lines of ashes happened when I had my first real crush as a woman, which of course was so silly and stupid and catastrophic that it would easily play as a 14 year old girl crush on TV. Oh transition, the roads on which you take us.

One of those lines of ashes was recently when I decided to move from where I’ve lived for a while. I settled here after my separation, and I thought I would be able to see my babies from here, but alas, that was not to be. So, as part of a big freaking mess of a Fall of emotions, I decided to make a change.

One of those lines of ashes is from when got my new job.

One of them is from when I knew I wouldn’t see my children for a long time. It’s funny because half of me is kicking the other half saying “Don’t Think about it!,” and the other half is like “Yeah…but…I kinda want to even though it’s a terrible trap of despair.” I do great at cocktail parties with that level of indecision. What’s a cocktail party?

So, now it’s time to blow it away with the new year. Maybe I’ll polish it with some Pledge.

Reset…

Dec 30, 2012 1 note
#Trans #transgender #blog #mtf
Confronting Misogyny as a Woman is Hilarious

Well, when it’s on the internet. Someone told me he “keeps his pimp hand ready” when I told him he was very creative for thinking of so many ways to beat up women. I think men are very threatened these days, and women are something they eternally don’t understand. Women on the other hand, are doing much better than they used to. Straight men are such odd, anachronistic animals.

Dec 30, 2012 2 notes
The Death and Birth of Hope

I hope my hope is back, that 2013 will be a great year for me. 2012 was a year of survival, just get through it. I’m moving in early 2013 to a better part of LA for someone like me. I live in inculcated 1950’s suburbia right now, which is fine, I suppose, but it is BORING here. Here’s to 2013, my second full year as me who I always wanted to be.

Dec 28, 2012
#newyear #trans #transgender

anarcha-avery:

Like communism sounds great on paper but in practice how would you make paper?

You could use the clothing of vile, imprisoned counter-revolutionaries

Dec 27, 2012 30 notes
“I felt a tremendous distance between me and everything real.” —Hunter S. Thompson (via itsweirduphere)
Dec 27, 2012 1,338 notes
Poem 54 (For my children)

Providence

Our tailored minds made strewn with hope
from awful providence and its harbingers
are often overruled by heart’s foul bell
that rings us back into the plain and bereft

And God or gods or cards or stars
send hope-beams back into the maze
of all our constellating dreams
and we are pushed on

But dreams are like cyclones
They blind us to our days’ delights
in their own absurdist way
of which we are ignorant

Some of us are poets and some of us are pawns
Some of us are regal and some just ply the gods to yawn
Some of us are children and some are aging fast
Some of us are hopeful and some make hope wan

So when some sooth is said
to your and my beleaguered head

I really don’t know…

You’ll have to ask God or the gods or the cards or the stars

But I’ll be here, where I love to be, writing…

Dec 27, 2012
#loveyaboys #poem #poetry
Where the year goes and where it went

Last New Year’s Eve, I was a different person. I was a year younger, and I had hope. I had hope in spades. Some might say that hope is delusion, but I say that hope is life, and evil is the death of hope.

So the year went on, and I was challenged. Some people like to run marathons, and I suppose that can be interesting, but life is a marathon for me. I battled in court all year to see the children I haven’t seen in seven months as of this New Year’s Eve. I hit the proverbial “wall” back in July or so when the whole machine of life seemed bent on holding me down to watch my life disintegrate. I made missteps and fell and got back up. I’ve grown darker and more cynical, but I still know how to light up a child’s face with a wink.

Those vexed to defeat me have defeated me in a way. I’ve retreated so that I do not run my tired body to the point of death and spiritual exhaustion.

I wanted an amicable divorce, but my new path is not compatible with theirs as theirs is not with mine.

For the last seven months I’ve pleaded and pleaded to the point of getting a restraining order just to see my children. If I were to detail every last communication here, there would only be sadness. I will never see my youngest son’s first year. It’s gone.

Sometimes when I’m really sobbing now, my overbite reminds of my oldest son’s goofy buck tooth grin, and my heart is broken beyond anything I’ve ever felt in my life.

Christmas 2012 was the hardest day yet of my life. I don’t know if 2013 will bring greater depths, but I’ll just keep on going.

We think that we live in this sort of Disneyland existence in America in 2013, but there is real horror here. It’s just dressed up in a cutesy outfit, but it’s still there conspiring against us with a ghastly grin on its face.

So here’s to 2013. I hope that I won’t see true evil when my last bit of hope dies. I just want to see my children grow up.

Abbie

Dec 27, 2012 1 note
#2012 #newyears #children #loveyaboys
Christmas is the most awful time of year

I miss my children more than anything in the world right now. I’ll just pass out in my tear soaked bed now. Why, seriously, why? Why can one person create so much evil?

Dec 26, 2012
#christmas #loveyaboys
Play
Dec 25, 2012
Dec 25, 2012 5 notes
#transition #trans #transgender #mtf
Use and Peruse my Word Cloud!

So there’s a word cloud on the left hand column of my blog at the bottom, and if you click any of the words, you’ll get all kinds of posts related to that word. Super Neato! Ok, I just said super neato. Staying up waiting to see Santa on Christmas Eve is really starting to wear on the ol’ neurons upstairs.

Happy Kwanzaa! I think…

Dec 25, 2012
#wordcloud
An Edward Scissorhands Trans Allegory Christmas

So I watched Edward Scissorhands again last night. I haven’t seen it in a few years. It’s amazing how much more deeply it affected me this time. It really is a fairy tale that can be transposed onto the life of the average transgender person. He is “born different” and can’t be put into a box or reduced into a suburban stereotype. His attempts at caring are often misconstrued as attacks or aggressions. He’s constantly chided with mores and strictures concerning what is “appropriate” and such.

Anyway, I thought it was quite apropos to my last year of transition. Thank you ye Gods of Serendipity and Providence. Oh, and I lived in a neighborhood JUST LIKE the one in the movie. It was a brand new tract home neighborhood with scrawny trees and expertly manicured lawns. I was the homeowner and breadwinner. It was all so perfect, until it wasn’t, and it was a house of clueless cards sent scattered into the gust.

Suburbia and Edward and Abbie and lawns and gossip and stolid, vapid expanses of normality.

But there was where the first born of my two was born, and that might just salvage the whole affair. :)

image

Dec 25, 2012
#edward scissorhands #suburbia #Christmas #transgender #fairytale
A 'dad' is tenth most popular Christmas list request for children → telegraph.co.uk

Yeah, I kind of understand this, a little… On the top of my Christmas list is to see my two children. :(

Dec 25, 2012 1 note
#loveyaboys #sons #children #christmas #love
Searching for Sopes in the Central Valley

image

Yeah, so I’ve ambled back towards my roots, my roots being in the Central Valley of California. There exists a city, known as Bakersfield, within which I was weaned from 15-30. I guess weaned is a rather improper word, but nobody knows what weaned means anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

Ahh, Bakersfield. My hearth, my homestead, my … you know it kind of smells here. It actually does, and that’s because of the numerous dairies and agricultural enterprises that exist around here. I could be rather flip, dismissive, and condescending with respect to this patch of Earth that homes some eight hundred thousand or so souls, but I don’t want to be. I lived here a decade and a half, and I wasn’t chained to do so. It’s not the awful mire that some would suppose. They do have my favorite food here.

Yes, I’m on a mission to find and devour my favorite foodstuff, Sopes Al Pastor. Real Mexican food is hard to find in the US in general, but in LA, surprisingly, Mexican fare borders between edible and questionable. But the type of place that I thirst and yearn and hunger for is the sometimes suspect hole in the figurative wall. My favorite haunt is in a sleepy town north of Bakersfield called Wasco. I won’t belabor the sensibilities of the reader by going into the intricacies of this strange stead, but suffice to say, this place is home to some damn good Mexican food.

Anyway, real Mexican food is a revelation. It’s a burst from yearned Mayan culinary threads passed down and up through the hungry generations. The Spaniards brought their wares, and the Mexicans perfected the melange. The simplicity of the components of Mexican cuisine is precision borne of the agricultural benefits of growing corn and beans together. The natives of the Americas knew that corn grew best with a creeping vine of beans around its stalk and a starchy vegetable such as a squash languishing nearby. Modern agricultural scientists have shown the benefits of this hardy duo or trio to be synergistic in effect.

So. Back to the good stuff. Food. I haven’t yet tasted it, and I longingly yearn for it. Damn if I don’t. It’s 1 AM, and my only options right now are fast food left and fast food right. I’ll appease my stomach, yes, but I’m going to find that sope. And I’m going to love it.

Dec 24, 2012
#food #sope
Desiderata

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann

Dec 22, 2012 3 notes

My new warning is “Don’t pick a fight with someone whose had to fight her entire life. You’ll lose.”

Dec 21, 2012 1 note

I like when I start watching a movie, and I think “interesting conceit.” I don’t know if any of you understand that, but it’s a good thing.

Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012 8,876 notes

Be yourself, not who you fear. Being bigendered is difficult. Living outside of the binary is hard because you don’t have any role models. Sure, there are gender ambiguous people everywhere, but it’s still difficult. People just don’t understand and can’t put you into a box. Whatever…

Dec 20, 2012 2 notes
Some nonsensical ramblings OR How can you live in fear?

image

If we are so deigned to live in fear, although we have a nice man in the top office, we’ve left the past behind. We’ve got no office left in the historical hierarchy. We’ve left the past, and the past won’t save us anymore. Our only hope is the bold, experiential future. The human spirit soul knows where to go. Its perfect, or semi-perfect, compass will at least show us the way. I know this and these blurbs will fall on deaf, digital ears, but I must speak what I can see in my mind’s eye.

I’ve seen the things that man has banished. I’ve seen the roses that amiable aphids have chewed for their lurid pleasure. And this will fall on fallow grounds. These phonetic plebeian poems prosed will fail. So I speak just as the gods could feign as if they had no powers.

I hope the world will traverse thus, the sordid mountains’ rocks, to plane the plains and make the valleys long. However, but, although, until, this lazy day is come, we’ve got to paranoidly pursue the masters’ nests till kingdom come.

This would be best expressed in a comic novel, but I guess I’m not that talented.

Goodnight and good luck.

Abbie

Dec 19, 2012
Dec 19, 2012
The State of the Union

Our country is such a sad place. The serfs and the monarchs are so evident and blatant; the line between the two is a gulf. I’ve lived in economically depressed places, and it ain’t pretty. This was before the crash. Now, people are just plodding on with the “new normal.”

We transgender and gender variant folks are well aware of how much it stinks. We are on the butt end of this charade. I can’t say that my fortunes are all bad personally; that would be disingenuous of me. I do alright. Some people shout “privilege!” at me for working my way up the ladder when I was male, but let’s have a little context. The privileged transgender person is an oxymoronic phrase.

So, yeah, with each passing story about how the powerful walk amongst us and shatter the rule of law with impunity, it seems as though this is one giant test to see how much the “commoners” will tolerate without real outrage. Maybe that’s the ticket, so to speak. Maybe things are so much worse than we know, that “they” are preparing us for the newer normal to come. Oh joy of joys…

Whatever, having survived my first year of transition without getting completely knocked down, I have my personal faith. It’s not some Pollyanna vision of the Hollywood ending, but it’s the notion that I will be able to sidestep some of it with instinct.

So we’re stuck between the rock of Gibraltar and a hard place to put it mildly. Litotes and hyperbole are such bosom buddies these days.

Also, it’s not just the US. We in the US are gleefully unaware of what is going on in Europe. Europe is being pounded over and over in a broken record of panic and confusion. The Greeks are turning back to fascism and all of its delights. The English are pretty much pooped out with the Orwellian-lite nannyism of their “responsible and serious” government. Spain has been in a malaise for years now with horrible, no good, very bad collusion between government and the banks and public works projects that mirror the “bridge to nowhere” here in the US.

And then back in Yankee town over here, people are arguing about gun control with all of the zeal of a blind man spelunking a lost cavern. First of all, the shootings are terrible and unconscionable, but they are blips on the needless death front. Because of lack of basic healthcare, thousands upon thousands are either dead or bankrupt. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

Oh what whimpering sadness fogs the land and hides the wolves. We must return to basic, primal instinct in order to restore some semblance of order to this country. Reason and logic have proven to be a brain with only one hemisphere. We’ve always known this, but the technology and gadget porn we are covered with these days has created a religious fandom of the cold and logical. Trust me, computers have a long way to go before they can compete with a well trained human mind. We can’t rely on them to service our whims or we will end up like E.M. Forster’s The Machine Stops.

So march on we transgender gang of survivors with our pink and blue flag. Weathered and eroded but not beaten. We’ll see or not see what happens next.

Dec 19, 2012
#money #power #fascism #america #wallstreet
Dec 18, 2012
Dec 18, 2012
Mah Blog

I think I’m pretty transparent. If you read my blog, you know who I am. I don’t believe in secrets. I don’t believe in Beatles…wait, wrong speech.

It’s mostly all there. I have a few precious morsels that you’ll probably never see. Gotta save something, right? When things are falling apart, be it on a personal (me) or social level, you gotta be smart, but you have to be honest. Honesty is more valuable than gold. But yeah, gotta keep those morsels to be safe and all.

My God it feels like Friday to me. But it just be Tuesday. Friday is TGICAF, not TGIF. TGICAF stands for Thank God it’s Consciousness Altering Friday! ;)

Peace not be unto him but unto you.

Abbie

Dec 18, 2012 1 note

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You’re a slave to money then you die

Dec 18, 2012 2 notes
The End of the World!!

I think we all need a little perspective about the whole end of the world thing. Just think about all the terrible crap that will be deleted! No more homophobia or transphobia. No more terrorism. No more taxes! No more, well that terrible, awful, no-good, horrible stuff! So relax, thank God, and ride the escalator to the end…

Dec 18, 2012 1 note
#mayan #endoftheworld #12/21/12
To my oldest son whom I do not see or have not seen

Sonnet 43

When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see,
For all the day they view things unrespected;
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright, are bright in dark directed.
Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow’s form form happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!
How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day,
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!
All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me.

–William Shakespeare

Dec 17, 2012

All attention is good attention, if you’re not nuts.

Dec 16, 2012
And then I listened to my old friend Outkast

Damn, nothin will drive the transgender girl to the Valhalla that she needs than my old good friends Andre 3000 and Big Boi singing, no sangin some “Rosa Parks.” I love me some Outkast. I know I’m appropriating minority language, but ya’ll can kiss my ass. :)

Dec 16, 2012 1 note

I think life is a “cautionary tale”

Dec 15, 2012
You're great. That's all.

You ain’t so bad yourself ;)

Dec 15, 2012
Dec 15, 2012 3 notes
Tumblr is upgraded! Of course that's why they had the huge outage the other day

I work in tech, and anytime there is a big upgrade, there is a huge risk. I’m sure managers were running around pointing fingers, and the coders were like MIA. I know the drill. Hey we’re down!! Blame the people that flipped the switch! Not the people that designed the switch…

I’m just guessing with my crystal ball.

Dec 15, 2012
Dec 15, 2012 13 notes
Transgender Prisoners

image

The subjugated person is merely a prisoner whose walls are composed of the lack of money and/or power which creates the bars that are the barriers to entry into the status quo. Though we are all prisoners on a cardinal spectrum, some more some less, the transgender individual is at such a base level of power and therefore a great level of subjugation that he/she/other becomes qualitatively bound to a greater level than the average person. We have a special place in hell, to be more succinct.

Does anger reinforce the bars or soften them? I’m not sure. Possibly stoic resolve is the jailer’s key. Is bliss what makes us walk through walls? Can we really escape?

Dec 15, 2012 3 notes
#trans #transgender #mtf
Outrageous HSBC Settlement Proves the Drug War is a Joke → rollingstone.com

Matt Taibbi, a journalist whom I admire greatly, shows just how corrupt our system is when it comes to drugs. I’ll have my story out soon about how my family court ruined my relationship with my children, but this is an excellent example of the kind of journalism this country needs.

Dec 13, 2012 2 notes
Pellets and Posts: An Introduction to my doctor John O'Dea M.D.

Hello, hello, hello! How goes the lonely, tattered world of the transgender circus? I’ve just come from my Endocrinologist and received some top notch transgender care. Really, the care of a doctor that just treats you like a person or a woman and not like some sort of lab-rat curiosity is world class treatment for #girlslikeus. :D

Dr. John O’Dea specializes in transgender endocrinology, and I was blessed by the trans-faeries (are all faeries trans?) to meet him. It’s quite funny going into his practice, because he doesn’t bill insurance. So what does that mean? It means he doesn’t have an army of accountant/medical clerks to herd and watch over. It’s such a calm environment. Now, his cost can be a little prohibitive to some because he only accepts payment up front. Hormones that are used in conventional care are cheap, but the hormones he uses are compounded specifically for his practice. For me, it’s worth the cost, for a number of reasons.

First, let me explain his primary method of Hormone Replacement Therapy. By the way, he also treats menopausal genetic women. He is an advocate of the usage of sub-dermal, dense pellets of hormones. They look like this:

They are inserted after the area has been cleaned, disinfected, and anesthetized. The Estrogen pellets last for up to 6 months, but after 3-4 months, new pellets should be implanted. This is because there is a drop-off in the levels of hormones being introduced into the body as the pellets slowly get dissolved. It’s pretty straightforward. The levels of Estrogen have been titrated by the good doctor to not only suppress the production of Testosterone but also begin and promote the process of feminization in the genetically male body.

Next, after you have been on the pellets for some time, he might add in a pellet of Testosterone. Now, I know you’re thinking “Testosterone is the enemy! Why would I want more of it?” Well, genetic women produce small amounts of testosterone in their ovaries which contribute to proper muscle tone, sexual functioning, and many other wonderful and natural outcomes. You might also say “Abbie! I already have testes, can’t they make the Testosterone for free?” Well, because the Estrogen from the pellets is at such a high level to push the body from masculine to feminine, the feedback loop that the brain uses to signal for T production goes dormant. The Pellets are basically your new reproductive organs. You’re not really a cyborg, but I guess you could pass if you wanted to. :)

One last thing, Dr. O’Dea also supplements with Progestins. I say Progestins and not progesterone because, well he can go into that later when I do an interview with him. Basically, he has a specially compounded formula of Progestins that he administers every 6 weeks or so via an intramuscular injection. Although the usage of Progestins or synthetic progesterone is considered “controversial,” Dr. O’Dea feels that:

"When estrogens are administered, particularly in generous dosage, the concomitant use of progesterone appears to offset the mental side effects of the estrogens, and both progesterone and progestins powerfully complement estrogen as both a feminizing and especially a demasculinizing force. They particularly stimulate breast development and both nipple development and nipple sensitivity."


I’m in process of doing a full interview with Dr. O’Dea about his approach and philosophy. I hope to have that up here soon!

Links:

O’Dea Medical Hormone Centers

Dec 13, 2012 2 notes
#trans #transgender #medicine #hormones #mtf

The day I say you have to keep writing to keep a blog alive I don’t want to write. Sounds good to me!

Dec 10, 2012
How to keep a blog interesting

Don’t stop writing and don’t let it fizzle out after a few months. Just. Keep. Writing.

Dec 10, 2012
Dear Abbie your questions

I love giving frank advice, and I’ll try and be as honest as I can be. Hit old Abbie up!

Dec 9, 2012
Dec 9, 2012
#art #Sunday
Lessons

I used to attend a certain anonymous group, and I learned a lot of simple wisdom.

"Fake it till you make it" - Basically, I apply this to my blog. I want to have a greater reach, but progress is slow. But you gotta just look like you know what you’re doing until you really kinda do. :)

Dec 8, 2012 3 notes
This Blog Owns Me!!!

I guess I have to do another VLOG tomorrow. You people are so demanding. Yeah right, I’m some sort of super-motivated, type A personality, attention whore.

Topics, topics, topics. I know! I’ll just stare at the camera and start rambling. That’s probably like 10k hits right there.

I feel so productive already!

Dec 8, 2012
Custody and the fight for equal rights

I’m reading from the National Center for Lesbian Rights’ Website about legal help for transgender parents. I’m putting this one in my back pocket. I really don’t have the energy to fight right now, and that’s why I’m taking some time off of my battle. But, I will come back smarter and with greater resources to reunite my children with me. Most of the problem is monetary for me, because lawyer’s cost a lot of money, and my opposition knew this and mired me in an absurd amount of debt.

However, things come back around, and I’m positioned to look like the good person here. I know what I’ve done, and I can sleep soundly (when I’m not dreaming about my children). I know what the high road entailed, and I walked it. It might be enticing to sell out your future with your children to “win” in the present, but you have to pay eventually. I’m paying now, but my cost will be paid in time, and then I expect to be rewarded with my children.

Onward and upward, the trans* people walk. You can’t stop us. You’ll just make us stronger.

Dec 8, 2012
Dec 8, 2012 77 notes
I think I finally started to transition

When I logged onto my old World of Warcraft account and changed my main male character into a female. If only it were so easy in life…

Dec 8, 2012 2 notes
Next page →
2012 2013
  • January 84
  • February 44
  • March 140
  • April 119
  • May 119
  • June 141
  • July 291
  • August 141
  • September 123
  • October 173
  • November 132
  • December 56
2012 2013
  • January 3
  • February
  • March 1
  • April 1
  • May 73
  • June 46
  • July 54
  • August 49
  • September 113
  • October 122
  • November 74
  • December 86