Threads of Gender

There is a dark cave within which we all live. Our eyes are blind, because there is no light. We have other senses, yes, but one is lacking. Plato knew of this cave. Thousands of years ago he wrote his metaphor of the cave. People have largely moved on from Plato, but they have missed something. I would bet that 99% of the people reading this will not understand what I am saying because they have not seen outside the cave. If you have never seen the color blue and you try to explain it to a blind person, you will fail. They might say that “blue” does not exist, but your eyes have seen the blue. I am in this situation.

I have seen a new color that our people have not seen. It has taken me years and years of struggle and work and thought and prayer and pain and wanting, but I have seen it. Now I see it all the time. It is in front of me as plain as the day is. I see this new fire burning around me and making all things wonderful. It is the missing thing.

The problem is that your society has a tool with which you measure the “reality” of a thing. It is called science. Science is wonderful! But, your science cannot see this fire. It has not evolved to that level. So, I do not know how to explain this thing to you because you have no context. It doesn’t fit into your worldview. This energy flows through me and guides me. It speaks through me. It speaks from a higher level. There is transcendence. You can escape the horror and sadness. The tools are available to you.

It’s difficult to use the English language now, because there is no I or you, but Abbie has found the new way to think and to feel. Just as she has shed gender, now she has shed identity. This will be the only way to survive now with the new technologies. The lower way of thinking will only create chaos.

People have written about the singularity, where things change so fast that they cannot be communicated. It is not that simple, but for those who understand the concept of the singularity, it is now. Our consciousness adapts to the change and elevates itself. The conflicts of the past will be so insignificant now that they must fade away. Even the most horrible atrocities are now to be left behind. Because all is moving towards peace.

Love is here. Love has arrived.

I had an amazing massage/reflexology treatment on Sunday that pretty much unlocked all of the blockers of my chi energy. Then that night I cried for like an hour as all of the sadness left me that had been blocked for months or years. Then all was well and more and I was filled with incredible joy. I sent that energy out into the world for all to share. Positive energy is real. It exists and must be freed.

I try my best to stay strong through everything I’ve been through. Sometimes it’s best to be weak though. I’ve just been in full battle mode ever since I came out. I continue to be attacked, and I have to put up this front to look strong. Inside I’m lonely and sad and desperately missing my children. But since I get zero sympathy from the courts, I have to put on this act. At its core it’s real though, I just have to exaggerate it.

Being a true warrior for a cause can break you if you’re not careful. I’m trying my best not to be broken as I pursue justice.

Sometimes I feel like the biggest freak in the world but that’s just what the world wants to see. I act the way I do
the soul inside of me can feel safe and proud. With one hand I fight and defend; with one hand I am and I feel. I suppose this is just the human condition. No one can live defenselessly.

I’ll be moving back to LA in 2 weeks. Then it will be back to fighting in court. I trust in my path. It has provided for me when all seemed hopeless.

All will be well. You can ask me how but only time will tell.

Things are better now. Smile to your neighbor. Let love shine where one was only sadness.

:D

So where was I? Oh yeah, the crushing deism without a de that has been hobbling the minds of our thinkers for the past four hundred years. Strict materialism and rationalism are dead, dead ends. Give it up. 

So, here’s where is gets a little wishy washy. Religion and Philosophy are connected! Yes I know it’s hard for you to process, but it’s true. Our modern day religions are more like corporate cult paradigms or whatever you want to label them. The things that average people believe would make poor Galileo cry. Most people have zero understanding of the basics of philosophy, even the physicists! It’s so sad when a physicist can’t even mutter some basic philosophy 101. There are great physicists, don’t get me wrong at all! But on the average, I’d give it a meh.

So, my premise is that if you can’t establish a core metaphysics, epistemology, and ontology, you have no ground to stand on. If you address these simple things, in clear concise conjectures, you can actually make some sense. This is what I believe.

Let’s start with epistemology. Logic is perfect. It’s self reinforcing. It’s a tool for comparing and weighing concepts which can become abstract and difficult to manage. So it requires an astute mind to apprehend. Using logic is like playing a musical instrument. Some people can play a few chords, and other people can play Bach. Most intelligent and educated people are well schooled in logic and have little problem avoiding clear contradictions and such.

So metaphysics and ontology are a bit of overlappers. What is is? What’s the stuff? The meat. Strict materialists who like to dance under Newton’s tree and ascribe all that is to bits of stuff are clearly en vogue. Science or Scientism has grown into a belief system of its own. Its worshippers don’t understand philosophy. So they’re not really worth talking about. I’m rambling.

OK, so we’re going to have to have a revolution in thinking about physics to the core. Basically, it’s going to challenge all percepts of thought including consciousness and reality. The physicists are obsessed with finding smaller and smaller bits of pieces of stuff to label and gawk at, but they can’t take a step back and see the forest for the trees. They are afraid to challenge their own psychology with thinking about philosophy. They are like children, scared of the unknown. To understand the whole big picture, you must have a complete understanding of physics, philosophy, psychology, and daresay Religion. Without merging them together, you get a myopic mess of structuralism that turns into the balkanized landscape of the modern humanities. Everyone has their little fort to protect. They can’t see outside of their little fort, but by God, they’ll protect that fort till hell or high water!

I studied a lot of Objectivism in my twenties, you know Ayn Rand and all, and I think she got about 80% of the picture done. She just failed miserably in the 20% and the rest is history. I respect the 80%, but A is not A dear. But what I did glean from this study is the idea of objective truth. That is the thing! That is it!

I guess you could call real philosophy Objectivism if she hadn’t marred it like she did, but she was coming out of Stalin’s loony land and was a little scarred from it. I guess I’ll post here.

People are living in the dark ages. I have figured out everything beyond the stupid Newtonian nonsense that these ivory tower idiots profess. There is an energy field like the Chinese have known since well ever, and you access it through your bioelectrochemical energy field. It’s not hard. Animals do it. That’s why they have sixth senses. Humans have been brainwashed by rationalism into turning off all intuitive capacities of their being. They are simply retarded. They want to be computers. But computers are not alive. 

The western world is a sad joke. There are no Aristotles or Galileos because we have turned off that part of our being. I have turned it back on. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. You can’t understand the Renaissance without understanding the metaphysical underpinnings that surrounded its thinkers. They were bathed in spiritualism from the “dark ages” where we as a species tried to well do magic and shit. And you know what? There is magic and shit! How bizarre.

So anyway, Galileo Galilei was a mystic! Whaaaaa? He believed in God. How about that. I can cite it, but whatever. The strict atomist/materialist atheism that is choking our philosophy has to die a horrible death. It’s just deism with a hangover. 

I’m just getting started. I need to take a break. I’ll be back in a few.

The Future is what we make of it. We are here, crystalline beings trying to navigate the field. We must use the field to grow. The striking thing about all of this is that in ancient China they had already figured this stuff out. Now we Westerners or the descendants thereof have to bring it all together. We will understand that there is an energy field that surrounds all of us. It is, and it always has been. This will be the new age of reason and science. The marriage of time and perspective. It will come. I’m just putting my two cents here. Everything will fall into perfect harmony. There will be no wars because they are not needed. The field is the thing that will revolutionize all esoteric ventures far and wide, large and small.

In the end of the beginning, we will be like little green shoots of grass, growing up towards an open endless sky. The new generation is here. It’s already started. Just look on your computer.

Above all smile and be happy. This is the new day. All is good for now until ever ever.

Peace.

Abbie

My cat has been sleeping in the laundry room near the scented dryer sheets or something. Now she’s a portable air freshener. Spring fresh!

   So this sad card is the 10 of swords. Poor guy. He looks like the monsters tried to make an appetizer out of him but gave up. I love this card because it’s so over the top. Woe is me! Jesus! Calamity!

   That’s how I’m feeling right now, but in kind of an inverse way. Our society is so programmed and cliche and predictable it’s making my head hurt. Why does everything have to be the same every day? Everyone is obsessed with getting the exact same experience over and over again. This is not natural. Humans were not evoluted (new word meaning created by evolution) for this. We need distinction and surprise!

   But people are so happy to have their life play out like this scripted sitcom day after day. “Isn’t this the life dear?” “It most certainly is honey!” while they suck down their premixed Jose Cuervo Margaritas in their souvenir glasses looking out over their lawn that means nothing other than the fact that it’s green and you can walk on it.

   I said goodbye to that world a long time ago when I had to accept who I was and transition from male to female. It was pure honesty. When I looked inside my heart, I saw the female inside, and I couldn’t sell her out. At the time I was a white male and had to go through the routine of buying Super Threatdown Deodorant! and Super Strong ManWash Soap at the grocery store to look like I was “one of the guys.”

   I chose honesty in the face of the ludicrous lies that people are force fed day in and day out. People have no idea how many lies they come in contact with per day. Just watch TV for 10 minutes. Or wait, here’s what my Shampoo bottle says: “Indulge your senses with this exclusive blend of coconut milk to nourish your hair, while ultra whipped egg white proteins add strength and elasticity, along with weightless coconut oils to add hydration and balance.” OK, I probably count about 9 lies already in there. First of all, exclusive?? You get the ingredients from China or North Dakota and process them in a factory. And “ultra whipped egg white proteins” is more appropriately labeled on the ingredients list as Albumin. Albumin is protein. It’s in eggs, and it’s in our bodies. They probably took a huge vat of grade A Albumin from Florida or somewhere and dumped it into the hopper and mixed it all up.

   Also, what is “weightless coconut oil?” If they have managed to defy the laws of gravity through ultra whipping or some other process to make coconut oil have no mass whatsoever, I think a Nobel prize is in order. But, I’m guessing that’s not exactly the situation here. They just want you to think (by lying to you) that this product will make your hair look like you’re riding in a Space Shuttle, full of volume and bounce.

   People just gobble up this crap, and they don’t even bat an eye at it. Is this what we get with the future? A bunch of stupid euphemisms and Newspeak that placates our inner 3 year old. I hate to sound irate, but it’s just ridiculous. I want off the train. I want to live in a country where words mean something. I want to be able to talk to people and actually trust what they have to say. It’s really just so stupid. I’m over being depressed about it. Now I’m just annoyed.

   America has turned into a big Disney ride that we’re all supposed to believe is just jaw-droppingly incredible. I’ve seen what the ride looks like at night from behind, and it’s just a bunch of wires and cobwebs and cardboard cutouts that just look sad. I’m tired of the new America. Over it.

So I just saw The Wolverine. Stuff got blowed up. Lights went all flashy. And the bad guys died just right when it seemed like all was lost. Oops, was that a spoiler? Also there were 3 cuss words which is what’s allowed with a PG-13 rating. On a scale of 1 to 5 meh’s I’ll give it 2 meh’s.

Learning how to sit while wearing a skirt and not flashing the entire neighborhood is interesting.

Can we just reset and reinvent society already? I’m tired of this disaster that we have going on right now.

Can one of my cute followers just meet me down in LA and join me in a torrid, world bending love affair? Is that possible? Hey God I’m talking to you! Yeah. That’s better. So, estas possible? Sigh…

I think my first book will be titled “My Journey Down the Privilege Tree” bye bye white male privilege…

I just watched a video about Aaron Paul being super cool to gawkers in Hollywood. Then I stumbled over to one of my Reddit posts where I put a picture of my toenails before I went into rehab. I got this comment, and I pretty much have to read it in Aaron Paul’s voice:

Addiction is a bitch. as a mostly straught dude who hit random subreddit and found this board, cute toenails yo. Stay sober! spreading love and positive energy

Yeah, well you try and transition genders while keeping your job and sanity! Let’s see how that works out!

Why do people have to downvote so much on Reddit? Am I that annoying? Probably, but WTF? Booooo!

Blogging and being Transgender go together well. Both require you to be very open with who you are. Both require you to not give one shit about what people think about you.

My blogging time is really intruding into my laundry time. Good thing you can blog naked. #win

I am caffeine incarnate!

I can’t even process that it is the year 2013 already when I thought 2000 was so amazing growing up. Also I can’t process that Wil Wheaton is now a foul mouthed uber-geek blogger. But hey, I’ll take it!

If you want to learn how to be zen and stoic, transition genders. You have to ignore ALL of your fears.

Isn’t being a minority in America so much fun!

Awesome!

The name and gender change laws in this country are so easy!

Super!

Honestly, my favorite part of being transgender is having “friends” turn their back on you time and time again.

I know! So much!