i die in the end

Why not caring is so sublimely awesome and I’m definitely NOT going down with the ship

I love not caring at all about most everything. It really is freeing. The US is pretty much a lost cause as far as I’m concerned, and if I was still into Ayn Rand, I’d say I’m “going Galt” by leaving the country. I think I’ll drain my brain to a better and less crazy burg. I’m not so stupid as to believe the rest of the world is roses, because being transgender, I can’t go to like 80% of the world, but I think I’ll find somewhere cool and down to Earth. It’s really bizarre, but God and the universe have shown me the light by pouring down all manner of misfortune on my head. Really, my treatment here is so absurd as to be laughable. But as Jean de La Bruyère said “life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.”

And really, I’m just ahead of the curve. In the next 50 years, nation states will begin to become less relevant because of the Internet and emerging technology. If I move to Buenos Aires, Argentina, it’s 1/3rd of the cost, and I’m in the same time zone as the US, so I can work remote in a tech job no problem. I just worry that the US is headed for a civil war. It sounds dire, but I don’t see our problems being resolved peacefully at this point. The government created a monster when it sought an uneducated populace by defunding education from the 1970’s on. Student loans are a disincentive to learn, so guess what? People stopped learning! How about them apples.

There are a few bright spots, that might save the country, but at present, I can’t handle our society. It’s sooooo dumb. The average American is far too stupid to handle the responsibility of being a super power nation citizen. That is a bad combination. I’ll take my chances elsewhere thank you very much. I don’t mind ignorance, but I do mind when ignorant people are so deluded that they think they are intelligent just because they are wealthy. That bugs, hardcore.

And why do I have confidence that I’ll be alright? Because, against the gasps of the literati and very important people, I’ve honed my instincts using divination techniques like tarot cards and utilized mind-opening drugs when necessary. And if you think those things are useless and dangerous, that’s your problem. They’ve directed me to such an awesome path, I can’t even put it into words. Without them, I’d still be a closeted transgender drone making self-destructive decision after self-destructive decision. Trust me kids, Your brain on DMT is not scrambled eggs. But if you want to believe the propaganda, go ahead; it’s a free country. My wise mind and happy heart are more than enough proof for me that the ancients knew what they were doing when they included mind-altering drugs and divination techniques in their system of culture.

There’s a passage from a book I’m reading called Shamanism where it details the process that a shaman goes through in a traditional, native culture. A shaman is basically a member of society that attempts to explore different states of consciousness using substances or trance or whatever in order to affect healing on his or her society. They have been known as medicine men or witch doctors or priests throughout history, but they are found in many if not most cultures. Anyway, in this anecdote, after the Shaman has gone through his or her vision quest and gained the knowledge needed from the spirits to help his or her fellow citizens, upon returning to the village, her grateful friends come out of their dwellings and celebrate her return. Here in America, we put those people in prison. Someone like Timothy Leary who held a similar role in our society was declared “the most dangerous man in America” by Richard Nixon. LOL! Yes, Dick, he was oh so dangerous because he wanted to use psychedelic drugs on his own body and write books about it. Ooooooh, scary! Sigh…

I really do like America. I think it was a great experiment with a great number of noble citizens. However, it was also founded on slavery of a people that have never been fully repaired for their mind-numbingly awful ordeal. It was also founded on wiping out a whole continent’s worth of thousand year old native civilizations, using such great techniques as genocide, ethnic cleansing, biological warfare, and religious hegemony. You know, the classics… Also, we’ve destabilized and nearly ruined any civilization three thousand miles south of us by supporting violent governments by supplying weapons and money. And, our drug war has basically turned Latin America into a grotesquely epic macrocosm of gangland Chicago, where we should have learned the lesson of prohibition THE FIRST TIME!

Oh and then there’s this little place called The Middle East, where we send Terminator II style drones to casually bomb anyone we deem to be a “terrorist” because yeah, we’re really good at identifying terrorists. I guess it takes one to know one. And if we miss a few and maybe blow up a wedding party, there can’t be any consequences of that right? I mean, if a distant superpower sent drones to California and fired missiles at people that are locally respected in the dead of night, I think most Americans would be like “alright, I guess we deserved it…we’re sorry…” I think that’s what would happen. Maybe I’m out of touch. Oh wait, we would especially not care, because in this hypothetical scenario, the distant country was actually occupying Arizona in Star Wars Stormtrooper like gear causing hundreds of thousands of deaths over a decade long battle based on the idea that Arizona was hiding chemical weapons, even though it wasn’t. Now it all makes sense.

Oh wait! I almost forgot! America just loves to hate them faggots. Yep, it ain’t seen a faggot it don’t hate, and guess what I’m one of those perverted spawns of Satan. Hmm…maybe that doesn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Maybe 33 years of looking over my shoulder for attacks, verbal and violent, had a little bit of an effect on why I want to leave the country. And America can say “well the rest of the world hates gays too!!!” but sadly, that’s not the palliative that I was looking for. “I was just doing it because everyone else was doing it” has never been a good murder defense in court for some reason.

So I am way over it. You guys can take your trash culture of fake wisdom and insane obsessions. Oh what a Brave New World you’ve created where war is peace and strength comes through unity, and unity comes through faith. Have fun. I’m hitting the ejector seat button.