The World is unraveling one thread at a time

Why the West Hates Transgender People

Transgender people represent nature to transphobic people. We represent the variability of nature. People fear nature because it is not artificial. Western society is deathly afraid of nature. I’m sorry people. But nature wins. You can build your shiny buildings, and ultra flat roads. Nature always wins. But when nature wins, we all win. That is what you don’t understand. You don’t need to fear nature. Nature, and yes, death and change, are unavoidable realities. Embrace the chaos in life, and you will find that your being will find its own order. You are nature. You can bomb your intestines with antibiotics to try and sterilize yourself, but you will always be tied to the organisms around you. And you can have your order and artificiality too. Nature doesn’t hate binaries and categories; it just doesn’t worship them. Transgender people just happen to be unfortunate enough to be born with a big old bulls-eye on them saying “I represent the natural variability and fluidity of the natural world and all of the blessings those qualities bring.”

Out & Equal Workplace Advocates | Workplace equality for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, characteristic or expression. →

"Founded by Chief Executive Officer Selisse Berry, Out & Equal Workplace Advocates is the world’s largest nonprofit organization specifically dedicated to creating safe and equitable workplaces for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.”

This is a great workplace resource. I worked for a company, Intuit, whose CEO gave the keynote address in 2010 supporting diversity in the workplace! I transitioned on the job when I worked for Intuit, and it was heaven sent. They were so amazing. They brought in a counselor to answer questions if any of my coworkers had them. Transitioning on the job is HARD, but without Intuit, I probably wouldn’t have made it.

Things can change. Tech companies are on the forefront of accepting people of all genders. Let’s work to make the other industries the same.


Being Transgender in America

   You don’t choose to be black. You don’t choose to be white. You don’t choose to be gay, and you most definitely do not choose to be transgender. You are transgender. It is who you are. The only choice that a transgender person has to make is whether or not to live among the slings and arrows as oneself or to die and not be. Being transgender is not a joke. Being transgender is not a game. Being transgender is not a fetish. Being transgender is life or death.

   I have to get up every day and be a proper person, in spite of the challenges with which I am faced. I have to be a productive member of society and pay my bills and go to work just like everybody. I work hard to advance my career as an IT engineer by taking graduate course work towards a Master’s in Computer Information Systems. I take pride in knowing that I am able to provide for my children and give them advantages, even though I cannot see them because of court order and my ex’s unwillingness to provide visitation.
   I get up and write this blog to provide an example for other less fortunate people like me. I know that there are thousands upon thousands of young transgender people with no one to look up to. They are confused and scared. I try and be a role model, knowing that my reach is not that far.
   Some of my day is rather normal. I have a great boss. I have good coworkers. I love my family, and I talk to my mom as much as I can. She is truly my role model in how to be a kick-ass woman in America. My dad is awesome too. Being transgender and myself has really shown me what amazing parents I have. When I was confused and in the closet, I took a lot of pain out on them and blamed them for things they shouldn’t have been blamed for. But now, I know who my real supporters are.
   But I have to put up with a lot of shit. I’ve compartmentalized it and moved forward, but there is a ton of friction in my day to day. Although most transgender people are aware that the majority of people do not want to do harm to us, there exists a sizable minority that does explicitly want to do ill to our people and might envision a world devoid of our existence. Make no mistake, the transgender person in the twenty-first century America is the Juden of Nazi Germany that needs to be eradicated from existence [Edit: I could have used a less used metaphor here I know, but I had trouble finding a better one]. Western society would be so much happier if it didn’t have to deal with this troubling problem. Western society would be elated if every baby was heterosexual and cisgender. You can’t dance around this fact. Any system that glorifies the binary of extreme male and extreme female to the degree that we see today would be thrilled if there were no outliers. There is a false pretense that all genders are welcome, but if you look squarely at the gender propaganda beaming from any screen, the binary of male and female is the paramount ideal.

   As I was writing this post, I got a pop-up from that showed me a response to a comment I made about the American legal system and how money can control the outcome. My comment was this:

"Oh yeah, money money money baby. My case is pretty small, but I’ve been fighting to see my kids for two years, and I can’t see them because I’m transgender, but the other side has a big bankroll, so they just stalled me out until my legal bills were too much and I had to quit. Fun Times!"

   And then I get to see this pop up on my desktop. America, this is my world. This is what I see:
    So this is what I get to deal with America. Yes, there are wonderful, good-hearted people who are tolerant of all genders and sexual orientations, but they are largely silent next to the glaring, blasting hatred that is showered down on us day after day. This is the reality that I and we see. We are strong, but we are not supermen or women. Words like these cut deep and remind us of tragic realities. This particular stab comes at the end of a weekend where I saw pictures of my two boys for the first time in eighteen months. I waited and asked for pictures for eighteen long months and was met with silence, until I found a way to get them off of a public Facebook account. I’ve begged for a phone call or video chat. I’ve sent email after email to their lawyer asking for some sort of communication with the boys that I knew and I held and I rocked to sleep. I would sing to my older boy as I rocked him to sleep “all is well…all is good…” before they were taken from me.

   I’m used to it now. I have a very thick skin. I try my best to be loving and friendly to everyone in spite of my travails. I think I do ok. I’ve learned to just take each day as it comes. It’s terribly difficult to plan and map out the future when your life is such a roller coaster of emotion. I definitely don’t have the zest for life of a young person; I figure I’ve aged about a decade in the last two years, mentally and spiritually. But I will walk on.

   I am a transgender woman in America.


So, in the lexicon of the English language left of the pond and right, there exists such a word as to get under the skin of just about every transgender or genderqueer person that I’ve met. The word be Transvestite… Aaaahhh!

Actually, I think it’s more accepted in the UK and Europe as a thing. I suppose the proper nomenclature would be crossdresser in the US. I’ve heard it bandied about a few times too many in my days of wine and transgender roses. I don’t like it, but I suppose some people do.

I posted a picture of a sweet transvestite earlier today, and I loved the imagery, but I loathed the word. Actually, words don’t really get under my skin that much, unless they are thrown epithetically laden with pejorative vicissitudes. Words don’t bother me that much.

Anyway, transvestite is just an ugly word to me because it implies a heaping helping of maleness. I know I’m not using the proper intersectional vocabulary, but I’m just trying to describe the imagery. To me it implies chest hair bursting through some sort of chiffon lingerie, ack! make it stop!

Well, some people are into that. That’s why Craigslist is still chugging along. As a transgender woman seeking to assert my own specifically crafted femininity, I’m a little revulsed. I’m filled with revulsion just like transphobic cis people are when they malign a beautiful transgender girl with slurs. I probably need to check my attitude at the door. I’m probably just contributing to a system of needless and excessive judgment. Yep, I definitely can be dismissive and judgmental. And, yeah, I’m human, but it’s no good and rotten.

So, let’s all get out our favorite, most feminine outfit, and rock it like the world is ending in 5, 4, 3, 2

In Jamaica, Transgender Teen Killed by Mob →

There is a dark and phobic world in Jamaica. Good to know. I never would have thought about where to travel when I was a white male. Now, I don’t know when I’ll leave the U.S.

Kicking the transition into high gear! OR Are you sure this parachute is packed properly?


   I just signed up to get some new laser hair removal treatment. We’re going full nuclear radiation on these pesky follicles. No mercy! I down-shifted into neutral with my transition about six months back for a variety of reasons, and it’s time to get back on track. Our government can’t pass a stimulus package, but Abbie is definitely gonna do a transition stimulus to catch up for lost time.

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Bad News For LGBT Tourists In Russia →

Like gay people? Don’t say it out loud in Russia. I’d probably be burned at the stake. I’d request Cedar for a nice pleasant smell. My parents were just in Russia. They said it was cool, but they’re never going back. Also, good thing they didn’t mention me. They would have had to say “we kicked her to the curb!!” Russia is one giant facepalm of awfulness.