God sometimes it takes all I’ve got just to put one foot in front of the other. It seems like the entire world is out to push me back into the closet. But it’s not the whole world I suppose. Just those people who are so terrified of gender that all they know how to do is yell, kick, and scream.

And all I ever hear is:

“It’s not about you being transgender!!!”

ok, fine, whatever…

I was young and now I’m older

and I made my way into the blinding world then

and the sticks rained down upon my then blond head

and the lesson I learned was

If you get to know me, you might hate me

————————————-

So I went back to my parents’ house

And they didn’t know the new lesson I’d learned

But I was timid now

and they weren’t sure why

But they just thought this is who he is now

————————————-

And now they just thought I was shy

“He’s so shy, but he smiles a lot”

“Well then that must be just how he is”

Whenever I met a new person

I was distant for a very good reason

————————————-

Then when now I was older

I’d gotten so good at hiding me

that I really couldn’t ever see me

And so I was just shy and timid

And I thought that’s just how I am now

————————————-

One day, when I had nearly broken down

for the 1,234th time or so that life

from holding the sword that I used

to keep people away from me

my shaking arm dropped the sword

—————————————

Now swordless, my inner me sensed a chance

And she ran screaming out

and then I ran screaming about

and everyone around me was terrified

especially those who liked my shy self

—————————————

And they said “who are you? are you well?”

And I said “who am I? am I well?”

And I was weeping for about a year

So the number of people I knew was shrinking

because they got to know me, and they hated me now

—————————————

So now she was out front, and I was odd, and they were now scared of me

And they held out their swords toward me until their arms tired

and dropping their swords, most of them chose to just run away

But a few stayed, and now we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.