So I was in Target tonight, and I picked out a few toys and some Valentine’s day cards for my boys. Here’s one of them:
I hope they are playing with the toys I got them for Christmas right now. I’m trying to remember what I got them, I think it was Thomas related, oh! I remember, I got my big buddy the movie Brave, that’s one. There was a bunch of stuff, anyway… Well this just got my mind going about how the last year has gone for me, since I think I retold the details about 5 times today. So…
I can handle that I haven’t received a picture in 8+ months even though I’ve pleaded for pictures too many times to count.
I can handle that I, well, don’t get to see them and haven’t for 8+ months even though I’ve asked for all kinds of simple ways of visitation even as small as an hour a week.
I can handle that I can’t even send a gift card to the other parent without hearing from the authorities.
I can handle that I can’t use specific words to describe myself online for various reasons.
I can handle that my parents, their grandparents haven’t seen them in just as long a time and haven’t seen pictures as well. This goes for Great Grandparents too.
I can handle that I have to pay extra support and attorney’s fees without seeing my kids to the point that I am pretty much strapped.
I can handle that I get no response from emails time after time again to the lawyer.
The thing that I just can’t handle, and it breaks me up inside is that my boys are growing up only seeing one of their two parents. I just can’t handle that, and it makes me very, very sad. I wish I could give them back the year plus that it’s been, but that time’s gone. So, I’m moving on to Portland for a while, to get away from something I just can’t stand to see or even think about. I hope it helps.