Trans + Mirror

Being trans is so disorienting. One second I’m stumbling out of bed half naked, and I look in the mirror and think “You look soooooo male looking and tall. It’s just not good. You’ll have to do something about that. Look at you, you’re overweight too. Gross! You should never be happy!”

Then I take a shower, and shave, and do my makeup, etc. And I look in the mirror and I think “Hey I look alright! I’m passable. I just look tall. I’m not totally fat. I really like this shirt! I can relax a little.”

I love/hate mirrors

America’s Deadly Trans Backlash →

Yes, once again, it’s the trannie tearoom terror.  To be clear, there is not a single case—not one—of a transwoman assaulting other women in a public restroom. (If men want to assault women, they don’t put on drag or “claim to be women” in order to do so.) And yet, to protect the fair ladies from the new lavender menace, pathetically ignorant legislators have introduced “bathroom bills” in Florida, Kentucky, and Arkansas. The details vary, but the gist of these bills is to ban transgender people from using restrooms that correspond to their gender, rather than their biological sex.


Horrific Florida Bill Would Imprison Trans People For Using Public Bathrooms →

If a person is convicted of using the “wrong” restroom they can be imprisoned for up to one year. Also:

" Any non-trans person who discovers a trans person using a bathroom that doesn’t align with their “biological sex” would be permitted to sue that trans person under the act. (If sued successfully, the trans person would have to pay their accuser’s attorney fees.) And, in a final turn of the screw, an “owner of public accommodations, a school, or a place of employment” who allows a trans person to use the bathroom of their true gender is liable for a civil suit."

Florida is no longer just the crazy state; it’s now the scary state.

Reality is stranger than fiction

Someone sent me this after I posted my suicide note the other day:

" I have read your literary art piece, "Suicide Note" Its very interesting? You are a great writer. If you were to sell it, would you put it in the auto-biographical, or fiction section?"

Uhh, yeah I wrote a five page fiction suicide note on my blog because I wanted to win am award or something. All I can hear in my head when I read this is woody woodpecker “hoo hoo ho hoo hoo!”

I’m like what reality did I teleport into? When is this twilight zone episode over? Imagine yourself, a girl…

Transgender Community Speaks Out About Suicide →

“Oppression manifests in every aspect of our lives, but the way structural oppression  is set up will have you to believe that we need to be fixed. And I’m here to tell you, we don’t need to be fixed there is nothing wrong with us. What is wrong is society’s depraved existence, willful ignorance, complicity, and inactive engagement which refuse trans people humanity and right to life.“

Me

I am trans, tall, thick, and smart. You’d think I should be cowering in a corner somewhere, but no. I am proud of who I am. I have worked hard to be a decent human being, and I think that I’m succeeding.

I’m tired of the transgender community, and I want a change

I try and be respectful, but there are times when I am just inordinately moved to disgust. The transgender community is rife with infighting and derision, and I don’t feel welcome in my own land. Where else can I go as a transgender woman? There is no other place. I am stuck with you.

I tried to write my thoughts about Leelah Alcorn, and I thought I did so with control, patience, and precision. And yet, my post on Reddit gets downvoted. What the fuck kind of community do we have? None. That’s what I say. You transgender people are too quick to strike out in anger, and you strike those that seek to help your cause. I am a hard-working, suffering, and thinking woman who wants to make a difference in our world, and I am cannibalized with downvotes on Reddit /r/transgender for posting my thoughts? Seriously what the fuck?!

It’s time to grow up. Let our people speak their minds without the threat of being trampled. We need a fucking welcoming community, and we do not have that. We all know that we are the refuse of society, so we must be welcoming to whomever comes our way. We need to end this atmosphere of hatred and suspicion.

We need change, and change starts with us.

Reddit Transphobia Christmas! Ugh..

Oh Reddit, just a picture of a man who looks feminine can so quickly devolve into an orgy of downvotes, privilege mongering, lecturing, transphobia, and offense. Yay 2014! Seriously, I’m pretty well adjusted considering how much I have to see people like me treated as garbage all the time. What other minority than trans women get to be painted as psychopaths, serial killers, freaks, weirdos and disgusting with a straight face in modern society? Well yeah, there are other groups that get shit on, but our lot is pretty bad.