It really is. I usually put up this front, because I have to, but ooh it takes so much out of me. And I’m still going on. And I’m growing. Somehow. You can’t even imagine how hard it is. I never admit it to myself. But I took my cat to the vet, and my cat is stressed!! We’re stressed!! What’s going on?
I’m moving back to California on 1/1/14. Decision. Done. I’m a phoenix. And I’m taking off. I came up here in February of this year. I was broke. I had this harpy awful woman my ex bleeding me dry. And she’s still there. But I got through it. And guess what. I’m better! I’ve cleaned up my shit. I quit drinking! I kicked it! Thanks Portland for that, really! I came here, and I saw the awfulness of addiction, right in the face. It broke my heart. I was scared straight for sure. God I don’t ever want to touch alcohol again, it’s so disgusting for me. It’s over. And I can leave Portland knowing that good old Portland helped me kick it. God bless you PDX.
This post is more like a diary. This real dope. I have a persona for sure. Because I can! Because I’m a woman! And women can have a persona that kicks ass! It’s written in the stars. Women can have a persona. They can be as big and bright and daring and ostentatious as they want to be. Hell Yeah.
Oh man. So, you know what? My life is still all over the place, because I did the unthinkable, and the thinkers done unthunked the shit out of me. Damn they hit me hard. Ouch! Beat me left and right. Like a rag doll. But that female spirit, that eternal spirit, that is deep within me, it cannot be silenced! All you have to do is listen to it, because it is one badass motherfucking woman! It will not let you down. They will try and KILL you! But you keep on walking. And pretty soon.
Well enough with the preaching. Shit. All I can say is that I’ve been hit with some nasty, awful, WTF, is this Biblical?, Whhaaaa? kinda shit, and she keeps on talking and walking and moving my Abbie ass on down the road.
That’s it. This post is over. Bye.